My Husband has Made Me a Better Person

    After reading the title of this blog, I wonder at your response.  Did you instantly jump into the body of the text to see what I had to say, or did you find yourself laughing out loud, mumbling "Ya right", thinking of your own relationship, your own experiences?  

    I know as a wife, there are times when our husbands can say or do things that we don't like.  We can, if we choose, focus on those negatives, take them to heart, live there.  Or, we can choose to look at those qualities of our husbands that have grown us, made us smile, changed our lives.

    Seth has done just that.  When we met, I was an insecure, little girl, too fearful to step out boldly for much of anything.  Then Seth entered my life and began to help me overcome my insecurities.  He is constantly encouraging me to participate in activities that will grow me and stretch me.  Together we've taken classes, joined ministries, listened to sermons, or walked through times of healing, all of which I would have been too fearful to do on my own.  From all of these, I have grown.  I am growing closer to the Lord, and as I grow closer to Him, all of my insecurities are falling by the wayside and the strength of the Lord is reigning in my life.  

    Seth continually tells me what a treasure he has found in me, what a gift I am.  I am growing more confident, because I know I have value.

   Seth has taught me to dream and because of that I desire to change the world.  I'm no longer afraid to say it.  I am a world changer!  My life is valuable, important, unique, all because it was given to me by the Lord and I know He has amazing plans for me.

   So, what about you?  Do you have a man in your corner that is spurring you on to be the best you you can be?  Can you look past the negative and start speaking what is good about your man?  I bet as you do, not only will your love for him grow, but your view of him will begin to change as well.  I bet in there, somewhere, you have a superman waiting to burst onto the scene!

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philipians 4:8

Yep!  He's my superman! :)

   

Fearless

We are winding down here in Winona Lake.  The movie wrapped this week, and a lot was learned throughout the filming.  There is one person in particular from whom I felt I learned the most.  Her name is Virginia.  She is a beautiful woman who let us in to her heart from day one.  She came on the set a week after we had begun.  I first met her at breakfast.  She had never worked with any of the crew, and yet as she entered the room, she carried her breakfast and joined someone sitting by himself.  She simply said, "May I join you?"  (It looked so simple.)  They had what looked like a wonderful conversation.  He, having to leave, she picked up her remaining breakfast and made her way to our table.  We too had a lovely conversation with this woman.

I have been watching her throughout the filming and have been amazed by what I've seen.  She enters a room confidently.  She knows her job.  She knows when to give critique, but does it with love.  She is not afraid to try new things.  She makes everyone around her feel valued and loved, and not once have I seen her let fear keep her from reaching out to another.  She has become, with the best of intent, the mama on the set.  People come to her for advice, invite her to join them on outings, and make sure to give her a hug before they head out for the night.

Virginia has been a gift to this movie!

I have learned a lot watching this fearless woman!

Questions that Bring Smiles

During my devotions this last week I was presented with a question that simply made me smile.  "Was there ever a time in your life where you were loved by someone that would demonstrate the idea of 'love your neighbor as yourself'?"  I didn't have to sit here for long before memories, old and new, began to race through my mind.  Back home we were surrounded by people who I am pretty sure came right out of the heart of God.  Because of them, our lives will never be the same.  And here in Indiana it is again as if God hand-picked people to surround us with His love.  Some of that love has been simple, hello's and smiles as we pass on the street, taking time to stop and chat on the sidewalk, or a hug as we enter a room.  And some a bit more complex, baking us cookies and leaving a precious note on our doorstep, cutting a key so we can drop by at any time of day to do laundry, researching all sorts of activities in the area so our family will have fun and feel welcomed.  Was there ever a time where I felt loved?  Continually!  My God is a beautiful giver of sweet gifts.

This question was a wonderful thing to ponder as it didn't allow for thoughts that were anything but pure, lovely and of good report.  So, I would love to present it to you.  When have you experienced the love of a neighbor?  I would love to hear about it!

Our neighborhood, where we see many of these beautiful people!

Family is a Blessing

Living this far from family made me a bit sad over the holiday weekend.  We were surrounded by people, enjoying the lake, and the fireworks, but it didn't hold the usual luster.  There is just something about family.  Those of you who know us, know that most every holiday we were in Portland or had parents or siblings in town.  It is what we do.  It was such a blessing to have that time together, to make more memories, to establish beautiful traditions.  But this Fourth, it was not the same.  In fact, the whole weekend I struggled shaking my blues.

Monday, however, was a new day!  We were filming the classroom scene, and with it came a bunch of beautiful children.  Children are my delight.  We spent many hours together in the extras holding, so I got to know many of them. We also met their mamas, and one family in particular became sweet friends.  We visited with them Wednesday, and after three hours of hide-and-seek, running around the house, chocolate chip cookies and conversation, we felt like family.  God is so good at taking our sadness and replacing it with joy, giving alternate families when ours is not to be had.  Thank you, Papa, for your goodness.

So, for those of you surrounded by family, today, take a moment and thank the Lord for His beautiful blessings.  I know families can bring interesting dynamics, drama, and sometimes a little crazy, but they are family, and they are yours.

The love of a grandpa can't be beat!

Family cuddle. :)

Grandma's give the best hugs!

Walking with grandma, on a crisp afternoon, precious.

Flutters

On the set Tuesday, I found myself delighted.  Kylia and I were relaxing on the curb, just a short distance from the action taking place on camera.  Seth was in the action.  As we were watching I caught a glimpse of him.  He must have sensed I was looking at him because he turned around and our eyes met, he smiled, we waved, and I couldn't help but giggle.  I leaned over to Kylia and asked, "Is it weird that daddy can still make mommy giggle after almost seventeen years?"  She just smiled.

Later that afternoon I was again on the outskirts talking with others connected with the movie.  Seth had stepped back a bit and was in an out-of-the-way location, and fairly close to me.  So, I excused myself and made my way over to him.  We both stood, watching the crew re-set, and I just leaned in and brushed my arm against his.  And with a sheepish grin, he asked, "Are you flirting with me?"  I nodded.  He told me I needed to stop because I was a bit distracting.  Well, all I can say is that he'd been distracting me all day. :)

Along with the giggles, were moments of pride for my man.  I had a number of people share with me what a great guy Seth was.  One was glad he was on the set as he brought a certain quality that was valued.  Another recognized and shared that I had a good man.  And others that his work was wonderful.

I love watching my man moving in his calling.  We aren't directing yet, but he is definitely in his element using the creative talents the Lord has blessed him with.  And for today I am all aflutter with love.
                               

On a Journey

I want to say that we have begun a journey that has been long awaited, but then that would completely disreguard the beautiful journey we have traveled for the last sixteen years.  A journey that has taught us so much of who our God is: powerful, trustworthy, kind, gentle in how He leads, corrects, and instructs, the One who cares about the details, and truly does provide for all our needs.  We've been learning how to parent (every child and stage brings something new to learn and adds something beautiful to the adventure), how to love, serve, show care, believe, trust, endure, all of which are so important on this journey.  So our journey continues into a new season of learning, and growing.

We've moved out of our home of ten years.  It was a beautiful home. I thanked the Lord quite often for it.   Yet, over the last few months we all began to have a sense it was time to go.  Still, as we closed the doors for the last time, the tears flowed.  We had some beautiful memories in that home which will never be forgotten.

Our last day in our home.  Goodbye little, green house!

But, the journey must continue for this life to be all that the Lord has called us to.  So, we are no longer Washingtonians.

For a week we were Oregonians.

Our "stuff" now in storage in Sherwood, OR.  It fit!

The following week, Californians.

Time with family at Disneyland!

Then travelers for another week.

Grand Canyon!

Then we became Illinoisans, and visited with my grandparents.  They are 89 and 87 and a beautiful example of Christ, a healthy and loving marriage, and joy!  I am so honored to count myself part of their lineage.

Yep, those are my parents too!  They were already in Illinois when we arrived. :)

  

And now we are Hoosiers.  (Learned that from the locals!)

Our new home until the end of July!  We have the bottom level. :)

Beauties in the park by our current home in Warsaw, IN.

I'm greatly enjoying calling myself a Hoosier for this season.  We have been surrounded by beautiful people who continue to teach us how to love and lead.  I had a sick baby girl the first day on the set.  Lynn, a new friend, helped clean up vomit, ran and bought Leilani Pedialight, Saltines, and a sippy cup, washed all of her soiled clothes, and sat with her while she slept so I could help Seth on the set.  Erin, producer and lead actress, ran to our aid as well to clean up a later episode.  The example of servant leadership on the set was beautiful. The care that went into preparing our present home, was thought filled and came with a gentle touch.  And the list could continue.  I am discovering the love and the care of the Lord even here.  He continues to teach us how to lead and love by surrounding us with those who do it so well.  So, for today, I am a Hoosier, and happy to be.

This life, this journey, is blessed.  Thank you, Jesus, for the adventure! 

So I Won't Forget

As I was doing Kylia's hair for the day, she stated, "Mom, I want you to be my teacher when I have kids of my own, because you are a really good parent."

Wow! Melt my heart, make me cry, give me a hug.

Yet another reason why parenting is so worth it!

Faster than a Speeding Bullet!

I have a daughter entering Junior High.  I'm a bit shocked.  I was told that my children would grow up fast, but the minute she hit sixth grade it was as if she was transported through time in a rocket ship.  It all happened a bit faster than I had believed.

The first day she sat with us through worship and then left with the "Big" kids to her JH Sunday School class, was the day the tears started flowing.  I didn't expect these emotions that welled up so quickly, and I wasn't quite prepared for all that needed preparing.  For instance, I began thinking back to when I was in Junior High, and the changes that took place in me, and everyone around me.  The boys that suddenly wanted to go out, and when you didn't answer them fast enough (because, is that okay?) would run off and ask another girl the same day.  I remembered all of the insecurities that seemed to plague me in those years and honestly, I wanted to run.

But, instead of running, I thanked the Lord for this new stage of life that we are entering.  I thanked Him for the beautiful, young lady Adalie is becoming.  I thanked Him for her courage and boldness to try new things, and not shy away from challenges or change.  And then I prayed for wisdom!  I prayed for the words to speak to prepare her for the years to come, a continued closeness so she will always feel free to come to Seth and I with questions and concerns, and then for more wisdom!

Growing up, but still young enough for cuddles with Grandma.

We are entering a new stage!  I have loved each and every one of the last 10 years of Adalie's life, and I am confident the coming years will be even more exciting!!

Never Good Enough

My Beautiful Kylia!

When I was growing up I was required to wear dresses to church.  It was what we did.  It was the norm. Nowadays things are a bit different.  Churches are trying to become more casual, making anyone feel welcome.  I no longer wear dresses as frequently, but jeans and a nice shirt have become my new norm.  But for some reason I still have this expectation for my girls.

Kylia came down this Sunday with a very short skirt on (she keeps growing, but her clothes don't), with shorts underneath, that daddy and I decided was a bit too short.  She then went upstairs and came down with shorts on.  I gently told her that we dress up for church to show proper respect to the Lord. (At least that is what I was taught growing up.)  At this the tears began to flow and continued to flow as we started down the road for church.  

I heard sniffles in the back and decided they could not continue the entire drive, and so I had Seth pull over.  Kylia and I jumped out and talked.  I asked her what was making her cry, and she said she never feels pretty.  Oy!  I asked, "Never?"  She said, "Well, for the last few Sundays.  I'm either too pretty or not pretty enough." And so at the age of eight, she was already feeling what so many woman struggle with in life, "I'm never good enough."  

So, I have been processing this conversation all day.  Kylia is in a stage where she doesn't like dresses, but wants to please mommy and daddy more than anything.  Do I continue to require dresses simply because that is what I know.  Do I look to the heart of my little girl and see that there is no rebellion there and so permit something other than dresses?  (When she wears her holiday dresses, she feels she is too dressed up.  Can she ever win?)  Do I tell her she is beautiful, and that I want her to be who God created her to be, to be confident in who she is, and to know that God made her beautiful no matter what adorns the outside?  That she is beautiful because of what is on the inside?  

I decided dresses weren't the most important issue here.  My daughter, on this day, needed to know she was beautiful because of who she was, not what she was wearing.  So, after asking for forgiveness, sharing that mommy is trying to wade through what is truly important in this life God has given us, the tears dried up and we were once again on our way to church, 2 in dresses and 1 in shorts.  

I desire to capture the heart of my little girl, so that when she becomes a young woman she will come to me with the question, "Mom, is this outfit modest?" confident in her beauty, not running to others for approval of her beauty.  

Lord, give me wisdom.

Centered?

   

   I had an interesting revelation the other day.  I had been finding myself saying, "I need to find balance in this area, or that area."  I had heard other moms say the same thing for different situations in their lives. 

   Then as I sat in a service I heard someone say that they were "centered in Christ".  I've heard that term before, and it is a great Christian term, but I never really understood it, until that night.  I actually got a picture of a teeter-totter in my head and realized how easy it is to get off balance.  A little too far left or right and that teeter is going to totter.  

   A teeter-totter usually has a very small fulcrum in the middle which allows it to teeter, and as you know, the further out you go, the easier it is to get off balance.  But, when we become centered in Christ, as our relationship with Him grows and we allow Him more place in our lives, our fulcrum becomes bigger and wider.  So, in those times when we don't know how to deal with a situation, when we don't know the right answer, when we feel far out on the edge of the teeter-totter, since our fulcrum is so big, since our relationship with Christ is completely solid, we will not get off balance.  He will direct us.  He will guide us.  He will hold us up.  

   There is no reason to try to get to the center to find the balance, because life is going to continue and situations will arise which will push us to the edge.  But if our center is Big and Strong, we will remain balanced knowing that Jesus is our support.   

Conversations with Kylia

I had an interesting conversation with my middle daughter, Kylia, the other day.  She recently turned eight years old, and the wheels have been turning in her mind.  She asked a question that made me stop and really think, and pray, before answering.  “Mommy, is it hard to love Jesus in high school?” 

How was I to answer this?  We talked for a while, but the next day I didn’t feel we had really dealt with the heart of the issue.  After further questioning, I discovered that her reason for asking the question was because, “It seems like boys might distract you from Jesus.” 

Kylia is a thinker.  She is observing, reflecting, and questioning constantly.  She has a heart for the Lord and at the age of eight is already seeing areas that need to be fortified in order to remain steadfast for Jesus.  Can boys distract you from Jesus?  Yes, Sweety, they can.  But as daddy mentioned after hearing of this conversation, “The RIGHT boy will point you to Him.”  

Show Your Excitement!!

Her smile says it all. :)

     Kylia just turned eight, and this year we chose to have a small party for her.  She invited three girls and chose a spa theme for her special day.  Prior to her party she was acting a little sad and I inquired as to why.  Her response, "My friend doesn't seem excited about my party."  Without really thinking I replied that I was sure she was excited but just hadn't shown it.  With sadness in her voice Kylia said, "If she is excited, mom, she should show it." 

     That comment got me thinking, a lot.  How much has the Lord done for us that we just accept as commonplace?  How much sadness have we brought to Him because of our lack of enthusiasm over a blessing bestowed, a miracle given, or beauty being brought from the ashes?  How often do we forget the greatest gift ever given, and instead choose to wallow in the woes of today?  (I shared my own wallowing a few posts back.)

     It's time to show our excitement!  It's time to stand up and cheer because of the greatness of our God!  It's time to be an excited follower of Jesus Christ!  Let's shine like stars.  (Phillipians 2:14-16)

     Will you join me?

     

Keeping the Flame Alive

    Seth and I attended a marriage conference that stated healthy couples dated once a week.  Up to that point, we may have been dating once a quarter, maybe.  So, we found a great program for our kiddos (Awanas, it's amazing!) and decided while the girls were being filled up with Jesus, we would be filled up with each other.  And that is how Wednesday night date night began.  Many a night we would be dressed casually, just excited to get out for a bit, but this night I decided to look nice for my man.  So, I brushed my teeth and hair, freshened up my make-up, and got a little dressy.  As I walked out of the bedroom, Seth's mouth dropped open and with awe in his voice he stated, "You look like an angel!"  All I could do was giggle.

    Five words.  Five simple words. But they meant more to me than Seth will ever know.  That night I felt beautiful.  I felt loved.  And I knew that I was cherished.  The flame that had been lit so long ago was fanned ever brighter, our marriage strengthened by a word.  
    Can I challenge you-Speak the word.  Whatever it needs to be.  "I love you."  "I'm sorry."  "You are beautiful."  "I need you."  Keep your flame alive. 

Living in the Moment

     Walking down the street with our church clothes still on, Zoie did not want to be walking.  She was lagging behind, dragging her feet, wishing there was a short-cut home.  Her sister tried to encourage her by reminding her of the park at the end, and the chocolate cake awaiting her back at home.
     Isn't this the mindset of so many of us.  Focus on the goal!  Just wait till you get to the end.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  But what I know, after having the same mindset at times, is that it's not about the goal, but the journey.  If we are always focused on the goal, we will miss out on life.  We will miss out on joy.  But, if we can focus on today, what God is doing in this moment, we will KNOW how blessed we are, we will see Him all around, and we will experience a joy that is amazing!

     I paraphrased this to Zoie by asking her what she could find to be happy about in this moment, and a few cracks in the sidewalk later she turned around and said, "I'm with my family!"  The park and the cake were still ahead, but now there was skipping, laughter, holding hands, and smiles.  Zoie chose to see the joy in the now.

"Glorious Things"

I woke up grumpy.
I had a choice to make.
Then a song rang through my mind.
"This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!"
(Oh, Sunday School, you keep ringing in my ears.)

If this was true, and I knew it was, the choice was simple (not easy, but simple).
I must rejoice!
Called my girls.
We read the Bible.
And then we began a list:
"Glorious Things"
1. Our Home
2. Big Turkey Dinners
3. Toys . . .

We got to #30 and the paper ended.
Maybe tomorrow we will flip it over and keep going. :)

We remembered the goodness of the Lord.
My grumpiness disappeared. 

Perseverance

     Adalie was at the dining room table engrossed in a math test.  She was struggling with a particularly difficult division problem.  With each check, she realized the problem was wrong and had to start again.  She completed her test after much chagrin.
     The Lord instantly showed me a moment of teaching.  I took her in my arms and praised her for her perseverance.  I shared Romans 5:3-4 with her about perseverance producing character.  And told her that God was pleased with her.  I told her she was like her daddy, a man who has persevered since the day I met him, to accomplish that which the Lord has called him to.  Just like her, daddy has experienced times of frustration and discouragement, but he hasn't given up, and because of that the Lord has blessed him.
     Well done Adalie!  Your perseverance is a blessing to the Lord and to me.

The Search is On!

Zoie and Joy the Bunny

     My girls were playing Hide-and-Seek with their stuffed animals.  They hid Spots the dog, Joy the bunny, and a number of other much loved "pets".  Then they began searching.  What I heard made me stop and think.  It went like this, "Joy!  Where are you?  Joy, where did you go?"  
     I began to wonder.  Are there days that I have chosen to search for joy?  Or, do I simply choose to live in my sadness?  I remember one such day, that I chose to stay in my mood.  God revealed my attitude to me early on, but instead of searching out joy, I wallowed.  It wasn't until late in the afternoon that I finally chose to ask the Lord for forgiveness and then began the search.  He poured out His joy quickly and I wondered to myself, "Why did I wait so long?"  
     So, on those days that sadness seems to reign, I have remembered the girls game and I too begin to search for joy.
     
     Nehemiah 8: 9&10, "This day is holy to the Lord your God.  Do not mourn or weep. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
     Psalm 65:8, "The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy."

A Daddy's Love

While kneading pizza dough in the middle of the day, Kylia ran in with a request. "Momma, can you text daddy and ask him to come home so he can help us fly kites?"  The question made me smile and the answer of course was, "Sure."

I believe that is what God meant when He asked us to come to Him having faith like a child.  The girls' daddy was in the middle of his work day, and things are getting busy, but instead of wondering if he could come home, instead of worrying if they would bother him, or simply not asking, they decided help was needed and dad was the man to call.

God wants us to bring our desires to Him, great or small, they are all important to Him.  We are important to Him.  He's our Daddy.

Birds Still Sing in the Rain

As I was walking yesterday morning, I wrote this poem.  It is the unedited, rough version, but I wanted to post it because I thought it may give a little perspective for those of us in the Northwest who tend to get gloomy when the rains keep coming.

Birds Still Sing in the Rain
            by Me :)

I lift my head and peak outside,
   rain's falling from the sky.
I lay back down and slightly frown,
   "No walk now", I sigh.
But something calls, I rise from bed,
   and bundle up so snug.
With coat and hood and earmuffs too,
   I walk out with a shrug.
As I saunter down the street,
   I begin to pray.
I ask the Lord for this and that,
   what else should I say?
But then I stop, and realize
   I haven't said hello.
"Good Morning, Lord!" I  say aloud.
   "Forgive my mood so mello."
Now I give thanks for rain, and green,
    for flowers blooming bright.
I count the snails, 1,2,3,
   Their crossing, what a sight!
I am so blessed, I realize,
   For this day I'm given.
I praise His name and slightly smile,
   Praise Him I'm forgiven.
My ears are open, I hear the sounds,
   Birds chirping beautifully.
Although the rain keeps falling down,
   Their songs I hear so clearly.
And then I realize all at once,
   Birds still sing in the Rain.

Rediscover the Simple.

It was Super Bowl Sunday.  The game hadn't yet begun and the sun was shining!  That's right!  The sun was shining on the west coast!!  So, out we went to enjoy the beauty.  We sat on the front porch soaking in the rays and began to observe the beauty around us.  Grass was growing, the sky was blue, the wind non-existent and there at our feet was a black tube.  Come to find out it was the sewage cleanout.  So, in curiosity, Seth opened it up and looked inside, and asked his dad about all that flows through the tube (which is exactly what one would guess). We then began talking about different races we could have with toilet paper, rubber duckies, etc.to see whose would make it to the street first.  It continued in this manner for a while.

With laughter bubbling, the sun beating down and actually warming our skin, I realized how much I love the little things in life.  There is so much to distract in this life, but I love that we can set aside all distractions and enjoy something so simple.  Gross, possibly, but it wasn't really about the sewage, it was about the time together, the creativity that flowed from something so basic, and the joy that reigned.  Since then, I have found myself thinking back to that day and giggling.  We can be so weird, but it is those times of weirdness that I treasure, those times that are remembered because they are out of the ordinary.

So, this is my challenge to you, rediscover the simple, and see what creativity, laughter, and relationship flows out of it.  I think you may be surprised.