Desire

I was saved at the age of 4.  I began reading through the Bible at the age of 12.  Every night before I went to sleep I would read a chapter.  Many times I remember hearing people talk about their burning desire to read the Word.  How the Spirit grabbed a hold of them and they couldn't put the Bible down.  I have to admit, I couldn't relate.  I read the Word because I knew it was good for me, because the Lord asked us to, and because my parents encouraged me to, but never out of a burning desire.  I sometimes wondered what was wrong with me.  Why didn't I have a burning desire within me?  Even into my twenties I couldn't comprehend what people were talking about because it was something that I had never experienced.  Yes, I loved the Lord.  Yes, I desired to do His will and obey His commands, and I wanted relationship with the Lord.  But where was my burning desire to read His Word?

At times I found I would read the Bible to check it off my to-do list.  Other times I would read, but have a hundred other things on my mind.  And reading at night, I found that I would be half asleep, rushing through my reading so I could finally lay my head down. 

Somewhere along the way (Praise the Lord!), things have begun to change.  I'm now reading my Bible in the morning.  I am getting up before my children and my husband, and having one-on-one time with the Lord.  This alone time has brought such a change.  I no longer read to check it off my list, but to hear what the Lord would want to speak to me that day.  I sit down anticipating that I will glean something new.  As I begin my day with the Lord, I am finding my desire for Him is growing, and I am wanting more and more of Him.

Do I look full of desire?  (Maybe just weirdness, but this is the best picture I could find. :)

I know I have a long way to go, but I feel I am starting to get a glimpse of the passion and desire that so many people have shared.  God is moving and speaking!  To Me!!  As I make it a point to begin my day with Him, my life is changing.  And Oh, what a beautiful thing that is!